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Sublime To The Ridiculous - Frankfurt 2013

By raccars Published

After months of build up, the Frankfurt Motor Show has come and gone. Among the simply stunning, faintly puzzling and ultra desirable cars on display were a few that were drawing attention for all the wrong reasons. Here are the carbuncles of the show.

Smart Fortwo Jeremy Scott Edition

The production version of last year's LA Motor Show concept was as outlandish as the eponymous fashion designer's usual fare – notably a ridiculous pair of 'wings' flanking the rear windscreen. These have been diluted from the set seen on the concept car by reducing the seven original fins to five, but they are probably still the most pointless addition to a car ever seen. That aside, the production car is very little changed from the concept version.

Brabus B63S-700

This brutish revisioning of the Mercedes G63 AMG six wheeler is even more powerful and outrageous looking. The Biturbo 5.5 litre V8 now chucks out 690bhp, in all wheel drive format. It weighs nearly four tonnes and, thanks to the enormous wheels, is restricted to a 100mph maximum. A £350,000 price tag will get you a black and red Alcantara swathed interior and an exterior that looks like something from a Mad Max film.

Techart Magnum Gold Edition

With styling befitting the tackiest of overpaid footballers only, this re-imagining of the Porsche Cayenne is designed to help the German tuning firm enter the Asian market, hence the red and gold colourway. The adjustments are limited to the cosmetic and can be retrofitted if you are unwise or unstylish enough to wish to devalue your Cayenne thus.

Mansory Carbonado

This is Mansory doing what it does best, this time to the Lamborghini Aventador. Modifications include draping the bodywork in carbon fibre, reshaping the front and rear ends and tuning up the V12 engine to nearly double the power output, from 691bhp to 1,250bhp, with a couple of turbochargers. The result is 0-62mph in 2.6 seconds and a ridiculous 236mph top speed – which is the very least you'd expect from a car with a £750,000 price tag.

Hamann Mystere

Fortunately, not clothed in pink chrome at Frankfurt as it was at this year's Geneva Motor Show, the Mystere does to the Range Rover what stress and anger did to Bruce Banner. It's a matt grey, low riding version of the Range Rover finished with an unattractive and unnecessary bodykit. Twenty three inch forged alloy wheels ruin the original car's buttery smooth ride and a mess of air intakes, splitters etc. that lends the front end the air of a 'Where's Wally?' challenge.

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